A Fragile Heart

Friends...

2010-07-16T15:54:00.005+10:00

I just want to cherish all the moments I've had with my best friends, collectively known as "Vanarsena", forever.
Sometimes we just take some things for granted, and we realise the value of it when we are far away. I've done whatever I can to express my feelings that how much I adore each and every one of the group, but when I'm here in Australia, working in a corporate environment, surrounded by "materialistic" friends, I miss my friends a lot. I can't tell how many things I had in my heart which I wanted to tell them, but couldn't....may be at that time it just sounded too silly or over-emotional.
I don't know whether it would make any difference now, but all I want to do is say something special to my dearest friends for life.
You've taught me the real value of friendship and shown the strength of that bond.
I'm not lying by saying that I hated the life I was living before meeting you guys. I was introvert, I was mean, I was self-centred. I never knew how to give. It gives me shivers to imagine what my life would be if you weren't there.

I learned to live for others from you, I learned to be a friend true enough,
rather than being just together when the times are good enough.
You taught me to see the brighter side of life,
you taught me to find happiness in small moments of life.
You showed me the joy of togetherness,
rather than living by myself in the wilderness.
I found the importance of association with you,
I learned the way be being myself with you.
You demonstrated the power of unity,
also showed to have fun with a bit of insanity.
I can't stop myself thanking you forever,
for I wouldn't be the person I'm ever.

I don't know how many of my friends will read this, but I wanted to write this for a long long time. I certainly hope from the depths of my heart to reunite with my friends in the near future, to live the moments we shared in past....

Being Responsible....

2010-07-15T14:11:00.003+10:00

Life's an ocean of events, good and bad. After all these years, I've learnt the hard way that we and we alone are responsible for whatever had happened to us in the past, and whatever is happening to us right now.
Although I read this in a book (yes, books are the fuel for mind, period.), I was a bit sceptic about this statement; how come we alone are responsible? Isn't the environment we live in plays a major role in what happens to us? If someone does something bad to us, how is it possible that it is because of us. But truly speaking, that's where I found the difference between actions and events.
Events happen in our life all our time, but it is upto us what action we take to respond.

Here I am, happily married to Rupal, my beautiful wife. Its been 8 months since we got married. But fate had different plans for us. After 10 days of marriage, I left for Australia, hoping to see her with me soon enough. But something or the other happened, and still I've no idea when she will join me. We regularly talk to each other and have a lot of love and respect, but its like "When we're together I feel so UNVINCIBLE.....".

Now, an average person will think, who's responsible for the suffering for both? Is it me, the circumstances or just luck? This question remained unanswered for me for a long time, and when I found it, it was not that exciting......it was me, me all the way!!!

I had a choice.....a choice to postpone my return ticket to Australia to spend some more time with my wife. I had a choice to hit it hard and get a stable job so that I can call my wife on a visitor visa to stay with me for a while. I had a choice, whether to wind up everything in Australia and return to India for good. I had a choice, not to create additional expenses and save money to visit India once more. But what did I do?

I chose to return to Australia as per my original plan, I chose to rely on my recruiter to get me new contract jobs, I chose to become a citizen of Australia and deliberately created more expenses for myself, I chose to get a house on my own rather than saving for India travel. A foolish decision, many would say...

When I found the answer of the riddle, I felt responsible for my actions and started towards making it right. Later I realised, all this suffering was for our own good. It not only increased the love, but the foundation of trust has become so strong that nothing can shake it. I've realised that how painful it is to live apart, and that will motivate me to do my best and give my best to my better half, coz she is truly BETTER than me!!

I try to read, I go to work, I'm laughing with my friends..
But I can't stop to keep myself from thinking,
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they're?
The days we had, the songs we sang together..
and Oh my love, I'm holding on forever,
reaching for the love that seems so far...
So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love...
Over seas from coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,
where the fields are green, to see you once again...my love!!
To hold you in my arms
to promise you my love
to tell you from my heart
you're all I'm thinkin of

6 days to go.......

2008-05-17T23:02:00.002+10:00

Its would be one of the most memorable days of my life, the day when i will land in my home country after remaining away for exactly 2 years, 2 months and 16 days.......no doubt i would be the happiest person on earth.

At present, i am counting the days remaining to board the plane, along with checking and rechecking things to be taken along with, my mind lingers on the thoughts of what's happening and what would happen after i reach my hometown......and as an obvious fact, family and friends are the ones whom i am most longing to meet.

Be it my parents, who have started planning many things to keep me comfortable in a harsh weather (its chilling summer in Melbourne, and summer's going on in India), my younger sister with her endless list of gifts and movies (along with her valuable suggestions, of course), and my dearest friends finding time in their busy schedule to plan a reunion worthy of welcoming me back after such a long time, i realize that times change, but some things in this world never change.......enough said!!!

Along with the thoughts, changes have come along for me in everyday life......thoughts is my food, and memories provide me energy. and strangely enough, i spend more and more time sitting alone, listening to songs, watching pictures of my near and dear ones. Suddenly the life's focus has very much turned to an opposite direction, that everything seems hazy enough to forget about it.

I can't wait to get some things which i've never got while living here.......a genuine smile, a hearty hug and generous blessings, who can deny such things after a long time living away from these??
No matter how far i go in my life, its the place where my loved ones live is my final destination...

Finally, i would like to quote a few lines from some songs from my favourite band:

so i say a litter prayer
and hope my dreams will take me there
where the skies are blue
to see you once again my love
over seas from coast to coast
to find the place i love the most
where the fields are green
to see you once again my love

Another aeroplane,
Another sunny place,
I'm lucky, I know,
But I wanna go home,
I've got to go home,
Let me go home
Im just to far,
From where you are,
I've gotta come home,
Let me go home,
I've had my run,
Baby I'm done,
I want to come home

Sometimes I feel like The world is against me
The sound of your voice
That's what saves me
When we're together I feel so invincible

The Poet Ingridient....

2007-08-24T23:11:00.000+10:00

Be it in any language, the magic of words has always been of greater impact on many kind of relationships. Being passionate about love songs and writing a bit by myself, i always thought about the origination of such words that has such a strength to express the feelings.

What is the magic ingridient behind the songs written years back that even in this era, they become popular? If you listen to songs like "When you tell me that you love me", "The way you look Tonight", "You raise me up" and so on sung by Westlife, have you ever realised that those were the songs written when people like me didnt existed? There is something in the words that have always kept me thinking.

The common understanding of an image of a poet is a "Loony" character, who lives in his own imaginary world. Even in my days of amateur poetry, i was looked down upon by people as having "world of my own". This resulted into me thinking about the actual personality of a poet, a songwriter or a lyricist. Is it always true that the imagination of an individual takes the form of words? People have different opinions about this, so i leave this to the readers to decide upon that.

Putting it this way, it is always true that something written on love has imagination as a major ingridient. But the core of such writings is always a character, a real individual. Illustrating this fact are innumerable songs written by thousands of writers, pick any one you like.

The major point i want to emphasize is one thing, a reason. Nobody writes without a reason, be it for a person whom he or she loves, be it for one's country or be it for fulfilling one's desire in one way or the other. I would say that these things add beauty to our life, even though it seems to be imaginary.

My first hello to all!

2007-07-07T16:12:00.000+10:00

My Dear Friends,
Its a pleasure to present you all this blog which i wish to make a place for discussion related to relationships and poetry. I hope you all will help me nourish this blog with your ideas and comments.